Refuge Ranch 2014- CHANGE

Change. 

What a full word that can be...

Recently, I returned to one of my favorite places: Refuge Ranch. A beautiful, dear home set in the mountains of a small town in Mexico. For this third trip, I had the joy of joining with a group of nine other brothers and sisters in Christ to serve together at the Ranch. 

How did this trip differ from the other two? Simply because of the friendships the were formed between the members of the group in such a short amount of time. To see the way that God worked through each of our individual talents, then unified us to allow tedious tasks to be completed, was awe-striking. It was something I had never experienced before. 

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

What has changed since the last time I was there? Definitely growth. Not only in the flowers and trees, but the children are growing bigger. Their faces are maturing, hearts softening, and their roots are deepening. Two of the children that were in my English class in 2012 came up to me and saying all of their new English vocabulary words! They were speaking sentences, not only sentences, but were showing confidence in their ability to speak English. Compared to when they would hardly speak to me in Spanish before. 

Talking about Spanish... God abundantly blessed me with recall of the Spanish I learned in previous years. That transparent wall that separated me so sharply before was finally shattered. I held conversations, I taught, I laughed, and I understood all in Spanish. This language that was once foreign to me is slowly becoming homely and normal. Even now, after I have returned to my life in the States. 

Change... what else has changed? 

There is a looming emptiness that feels like hope. There is a constant reminder of reality that constantly reminds us of redemption. After making a visit to the cemetery at the bottom of the mountain, these words flowed. Whether they make since to you, the reader, or not, I wish to share them. Just to give a glimpse into an effect of change... 

But what has change brought?
It has brought others to Christ. Changes have changed lives. It has strengthened in the nights and bought hope every morning. Change has brought hope, and hope has pointed over and over again to Christ. We are just passing through this land, to know that our eternity is still ahead is the hope that we all cling too.

What change did our group make in our time at the Ranch?

Cleaned the music shelves and organized the sheet music binders!

Sorted the bookshelves! 

Helped pour the foundation for the new house!

Alphabetized medicines for the medicals crusades!   

And I, once again, was able to teach and work in school. Studying practice tests with the students, giving spelling tests, practicing flash cards, and giving English lessons were a few things that occupied my time in the schoolhouse.

Change was also made when we had a ladies' night and served the seven ladies that are full-time staff. We mimicked that act of Jesus when he washed the disciples feet by painting their nails and giving them manicures. Afterwards we had a time of testimony and prayed with each other. It was truly a time of blessing and encouragement, not only to the staff, but also to the team. 

After 10 days of serving, cleaning, organizing, teaching, playing, befriending, speaking a foreign language, and living in a foreign community, the time came to return to our own homes back in the States. Each member came from a different walk of life, and each member brought a uniqueness to the group. I believe that the Zaragoza family was blessed by our visit, and I know that our group was changed by our time there.

So... How was I changed?

I was able to see change from an outside perspective.

One of the major projects was to clean out the warehouse. Everything you see in this picture was piled in back of the warehouse. By cleaning it out, we sorted the good, the bad, and the expired. Then by sweeping and making new shelves, we returned the good.

But when everything was exposed, it made an ugly mess, and it was vulnerable. Being the rainy season, we were worried about rain, so we wanted to make a covering for all of it. Finding a holey tarp, some people spent a large amount of time using duct tape to repair it, and even more time trying to string it above the large pile. Only to find that when the rains came, that tarp was just slightly short of successful.

A lot of times, when change happens, issues of the heart are exposed. God sometimes uses new seasons, or new situations to 'clean out' our hearts. Those issues are brought to light and may become vulnerable.

We don't like to be vulnerable.

We don't like to be exposed.

We become fearful of storms ahead, so we use holey, duct taped-repaired tarps to make a covering. But what if God wants to use those storms to cleanse us? What if we let those storms rid us of what is bad and expired, and see what is strong enough to endure the storms? What if we trust God through the vulnerability?

Take the time to read 2 Corinthians 4:

4 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not;

2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:

4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

11 For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.

13 We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak;

14 Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you.

15 For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God.

16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.

17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;

18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Being a missionary is hard.

There are all these children looking up at me and observing my life every day, I'm trying to learn how to teach piano in Spanish, I'm trying to learn how to just speak Spanish, and keeping up on my own school studies. Missing my family and friends, and upholding friendships with everyone here. Cheese that tastes funny, clothes that always feel damp, and cold showers. And on top of all this, God is working quite diligently on my own heart and life.

But you know what?

If God hand picked me to serve here, then these are not complaints, but praises. If this is all that I have to "suffer" then so be it! God gives strength daily, so I don't have to be worried about being "able." Stephen was stoned, the Apostles (among many others) were executed, John Bunyan was sentenced to prison, John Elliot was speared, all this for something called the Gospel. And the whole time they were being persecuted, they were praising God that he thought them worthy to suffer such things.

"God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called" ~Unknown

"If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:11

I'm finding out, that even though at times it is hard to serve here, all the little "sufferings" are completely worth it. Every time that I say the wrong thing in Spanish all the kids laugh and laugh, they think it's so funny. That's okay though because it allows me to laugh with them. God is good, and he takes care of his people.

"The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. For I reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:16-18

Music

First full week of piano lessons went exceptionally well! I love each of my new students and I look forward to teaching them and becoming closer friends with them. Each one is unique, and has a special talent that I want to uncover and bring out. Not all of them love piano lessons, actually it bores several of them, but, I have seen in each of them an attraction to music and it's language. Whether it be piano, guitar, vocal, or violin, there's something in each of them that longs to make music. They are all so worshipful as well, at church, or at home whenever worshiping, there is such heart behind each voice. Even the littlest, David, sings with a full voice, claps his hands, and sways with the music, he is such a joy to be around. Music is amazing, it has a language all in itself. And whether you speak the same language or not, you can be deeply connected through the language of Music. Anything can be communicated through music, happiness, love, anger, peace, and they that know music, they understand it.
Language and communication is so complex. I am so glad that I have this language to communicate through, lest I go completely crazy not being able to say all I want to say in Spanish. It is so enjoyable working with the children that are bilingual. I love their accents when they speak English, and just as they help me with Spanish, I help them with their pronunciation in English. Here is a funny story I think you all will enjoy:
I was playing a game of Risk with Josiah (who is bilingual), Fidel (who is not), Mikayla (who is almost), and myself (who is trying). Josiah kept going back and forth between languages, to make sure everyone playing was on the same page. Then the game got a bit competitive, and we started to throw "playful bashes" at each other. i.e. "You better get used to losing" and so on. Well Josiah meant to say "What do you think you are, girl?" but it came out "What girl think you is?" It was hilarious, I think we all laughed for five minutes straight. It's amazing how much the brain can handle, most of the little ones can understand English, even though they don't speak it. Working twice a week with the kindergartners is really showing me how much they already know of English, they just need the practice now to speak it.